Monday, February 15

What I've heard

I think my dislike, as much as I do, of flying to Houston probably is only really 50% plane and another 50% I really don't want to go to Houston. I probably could have gone my whole life without going to Houston and been just fine. No offense to the Houstonites in the audience, but I'm not a big fan of your city. I am grateful for what MD Anderson has done, don't get me wrong, it's just the same situation as back in Seattle: the oncologist just scares me, and not at a fully conscious level. He's "hurt me" on an emotional level and that is something that I remember, maybe not even consciously.

God was really speaking to me yesterday. I honestly feel like this is the first time in a while I have heard something so clearly. In the morning yesterday I was up a good two hours before everyone else so I decided to do some bible study. A verse came to mind after poking around the bible for a bit. Psalm 20 verse 7: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

This lead me to Psalm 20 which I proceeded to look over for a while. Lisa and Ryan eventually came downstairs and we had breakfast and then went to church. At church towards the end there was a study of Psalms 20 that we did. I was blown away, as of all the chapters and verses in the bible it was Psalm 20, the verse I was studying that morning, that we ended up studying.

So, what did I hear? Well, first off with verse 7: stop worrying so much about technology (read: planes) but trust in God to deliver you safely. But it also goes for medical technology. My faith shouldn't be resting on the chemo, or whatever else they choose to do to my body, but it should be in God who really put all this (my body) together in the first place.

Verse 5 also spoke to me as well: "We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests." I felt like this was saying to share the victories with all of you as well as the down times. God does provide, even in the midst of this horrible thing I am going through there are victories. Granted we are hoping for the "ultimate" victory of success over cancer in my body, but I think we need to celebrate the minor victories as well. (Like safely getting from here to there and back again on a plane without freaking out.)

Some prayer requests: For a smooth and safe plane flight, that scans/ blood draws go well in Houston, that the doctor is closer to "on time" than the 3 hours we typically wait (after our appointment time) to see him, and that his news will be good news. And these are all things we can "shout for joy" for when we have results.

Hope Extravagantly


1 comment:

  1. Gary Brown7:51 PM

    Hey Ben...I appreciated your comments on Psalm 20 and your message about technology. Our pastor has been doing a message series on idolatry and we've been discussing it in Bible study the following week. Unconnected to but following the study a couple of weeks ago I read an article in the Seattle Times that was a secular analysis about how technology has taken the place of God as something that we look to today for a sense of mystery, miracles and even (dare I say it) worship...and of course chariots were technology in their day. Michelle and I continue to pray for you and admire your courage and openness.


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