Wednesday, October 8

B - E - N!

Last night I thought to myself, oh, I should get myself a plane ticket so I can meet with up with Lisa in California in November. I made the mistake of picking up the phone and trying to work my way through the United Airlines computer assisted ordering. (I have a travel voucher so I have to talk with them.) It went a little something like this:

Computer: Please state your first name and then spell it.
Me: Ben, B - E - N.
Computer: *bloop, bloop. bloop* Did you say Den? D - E - N?
Me: No. B - E - N
Computer: I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. Lets try that again. *bloop, bloop, blip* Did you say Eden? E - D - E - N?
Me: NO: B - E - N!
Computer: I'm sorry again, I heard you wrong. *bloop, blip, blip* Did you slay Bam? B - A - M?
Me: NO, NO, NO?
Computer: Did you want to start over?
Me: NO! Ben, B - E - N!
Computer: *bloop* Did you say Ben? B - E - N?
Me: YES!
Computer: Excellent. What is your last name?
Me: I want to speak to an agent.

The thing that made this worse was my mother-in-law and Lisa laughing at me as I shouted the spelling of my name into the phone. The agent wasn't too much better though as she had what I would call an "Indian/ Minnesotan" accent.

I really dislike United.

~B.

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:17 AM

    Welcome to the "We're united to dislike United" Club.

    William

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think that's the hardest I've heard my mom laugh in some time! And I'm glad I'm not married to someone named "Bam".

    ReplyDelete
  3. I went to school with a girl named "Eden." I always thought that was a cool name. Be glad I didn't name Ben that...but he's not a girl, so it wouldn't have worked so well anyway. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. My name could have been indicative of how God created the world. BAM-Eden.

    ~Ben

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've had the same trouble you have had. You know what helped? I talked like a computer voice from the 80's and honest to goodness the United Airlines machine understood me.

    You know who has the most awesome voice recognition? Fedex! I try to fool that system all the time by slurring my voice or talking fast and it catches everything. Kinda creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's right Dan, you gotta speak their language!

    ~B.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm laughing out loud at Bam-Eden.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know if you listen to Prairie Home Companion, but a few months ago they had a hilarious skit about trying to get through an automated phone system like that. I'll try to find it (read: I'll ask Ian to find it for me) and post a link. Since hearing that, I've actually been much more amused than irritated with those dumb systems.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OK, we found the script for it anyway:

    http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2008/05/10/scripts/hold.shtml

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks Katie and Ian for the link. I could hear GK in my head as I read it.

    ~B.

    ReplyDelete

I am using DISQUIS for my comments these days. If you can see this and don't see the DISQUIS comments it probably means you are blocking cookies or are running an ad blocker that is blocking my comment stream. ***Any comments left here (on Google's comment system) will be deleted.***