Tuesday, October 2


"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." Jim Elliott

Found this on a friend's facebook quotes this evening. I believe the cancer in my body has been sent to me by God. I have a semi-hard time with this quote. Can I really "be all there" when I am locked in the hospital for 10 days? Is it possible to keep my mind focused on being IN the hospital when being IN the hospital for that many days is prone to set me into a kind of depression? How does Jim mean "be all there"?

I come home and I am smacked right in the face with the reality that I have just spent 10 days in the hospital. Think back to what you were doing a week ago, I was in the hospital at that point for 3 days. I can't in all honesty reconcile 10 days and the time I spent during those days. Some days I spent sleeping. I don't know how I can make up for days like that. I have no idea how long I am on this earth, none of us really do, my mortality just seems to have me by the gut, and I have spent at least 60 of the past 150 days in a hospital room. I can only pray God gives me more time healed so I can make up for some (all?) of those 60 days. That is a LOT of alone time, when I could have been with other people. That is a lot of not seeing Lisa when I could have been making her life more wonderful. That is a lot of ME time when I really didn't want it.

I can't justify the time God has given me in the hospital rooms, by myself, and maybe those times aren't for me to justify, but that time still weighs on me.

I have come up with a little something of a acronym to remind me what I have learned from my time in the hospital though: GLO.

  1. Obey God

  2. Cherish Lisa

  3. Love Others

I guess I don't know how else to break it down. I need to remember to do what God says, love Lisa and let her know it, and then love and be kind of people who aren't God or Lisa.


1 comment:

  1. I, personally, think you are wonderful. Of course I might be slightly biased, but then again, maybe not. I love your acronym. It is vital.

    One thing I noticed while you were in the hospital was how you responded to the nurses. How you commented Gloria on the great job she was doing. How you engaged the techs. Don't think for a moment that your time was wasted. In God's economy, we are not the ones who decide what is a good use of times when dealing with trials like you are. I'm just grateful you got to sleep through so much of the time you were there.

    I also loved the quote by Jim Elliot. It convicted me after a really crumby day, with a lot of rotten attitudes on my part. I'm here--I need to be all here.

    Thanks for hanging in there, my son. The Lord is using your life to make changes in the lives of many!



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