Wednesday, October 17


Yesterday was pretty non eventful. I put in some time at work came home and then went to get Lisa. Not a lot going on.

Today however is another story. While the CT scan was physically painful the trips to see the doctor are mentally/ emotionally difficult. So much "bad news" at the start of meeting the doctor really makes me very intimidated to go see him. Even if he has "good news" (healing!!) it takes a lot to walk into that office. The funny thing is that this guy is one of the most mild mannered people I have ever met, and I'm afraid of seeing/ hearing from him.

The last time I had a CT scan was after the 2nd round of chemo, and here we are just shy of the 7th round. After the 2nd there were noticeable results, I am hoping to hear more of that today, but there is still a little voice inside my head that is doom and gloom that says, "Yeah, but what if it's NOT good news." I don't know that I could handle "bad news" right now.

The thing that scares me about this situation I think is that God is, and always has been, completely in control of the situation and I have NO idea what kind of outcome we are looking at. God knows the complete plan and my life is 100% in His hands, but I have to live day to day. I need strength to be able to face the things I fear, and my oncologist is one of those things right now.



  1. There's about a billion people praying for good news... including the staff at NSB.

  2. Ian and I are among those billion people praying -- we're praying for healing, yes, but also that you feel God's amazing tangible peace as you go to the appointment and hear from your doctor.

  3. Anonymous10:06 AM

    Ben, Since the day I heard of your cancer I have been praying for you daily (OK, there were a couple of weeks while on a missions trip that it was hit and miss - but otherwise every day!). Just know that your "family" is standing with you and coming to our Father on your behalf. Peace be yours - in abundance!
    Joe H. (CBC)

  4. Anonymous10:29 AM


    From the moment that I visited your parents and you in the hospital after your birth I knew God had His hand on your life. You and your family are in our prayers. Take heart that God sits upon His throne and his compassion for his children knows no bound.


  5. Anonymous10:30 AM

    Ben: We prayed for you at Men of the Word yesterday and will keep you and Lisa before the Throne of Grace today as well. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympahtize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the thorne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Jim Wright

  6. Okay, Tommy, no fair making a mother cry.

    Ben, here is a verse the Lord gave me on Monday:

    "Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden,
    The God who is our salvation.
    God is to us a God of deliverances;
    And to God the Lord belong escapes from death." (Ps. 68:19,20)

    I love you,

  7. Anonymous10:40 AM

    I will NEVER leave you or forsake you!

  8. Anonymous10:45 AM

    I will agree in prayer that healing be confirmed.

    Please remind him about that little voice inside his head. If it doesn't line up with God's Word, it is NOT the voice of God, but the enemy who has come to steal, kill and destroy. God only has good gifts for his children, and the enemy is hoping to convince him to lose faith and change his confession

  9. Anonymous10:58 AM

    I am praying for you today.
    Kracinda, CBC deaconess

  10. Anonymous11:09 AM

    Ben and Lisa,

    My prayers are with both of you today. You are in God's hands.
    Julene, CBC deaconess

  11. Anonymous11:11 AM

    I know you don't feel lucky right now...but lucky you that you get to go through something knowing God is there with you molding you into His child! I don't know you, but I'm praying for God to give you strength, peace and endurance!

  12. Anonymous12:25 PM

    Ben - Betsy & I are among the billion praying for you & Lisa.

    Steve Ercolini

  13. Anonymous1:14 PM

    Hi Ben and Lisa,
    Praying for God's strength and love to be evident through all He has ordained for this day. Still praying for you guys daily!!
    Love, Jayne

  14. Anonymous1:21 PM

    Here is a saying that i live by, it is from a catholic church in cali and it is from an old daily devotional called Our Daily Bread, here is the saying:

    The same everylasting Father who cares for you today Will take caer of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield You from suffering, or He will give you strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anixous thoughts and imaginations.

    I also say quietly before i head out for battle for the day, "Lord give me the strength for what i am about to endure."

  15. Anonymous2:14 PM


    I continue to pray that God will work with, through, and beyond your doctors. Keep up the faith, for He knows the plan.

    We are all with you,
    Jeff (CBC)

  16. Hey Boyo... Just wanted to let you know that you can make it 1 Billion and about 25... I have asked my Bible study here to pray for you and Lisa, and they are all such wonderful girls.

    "The Lord will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness." -Psalm 41:2-3

    Dan Perrin gave this verse at that first prayer night at the Massingills and I've been reading it a lot lately. May He stick to His promises...

    Love, Beth


I am using DISQUIS for my comments these days. If you can see this and don't see the DISQUIS comments it probably means you are blocking cookies or are running an ad blocker that is blocking my comment stream. ***Any comments left here (on Google's comment system) will be deleted.***